My final decision.

I know I've been abusing my blog for a very personal confession and ranting about my thoughts and feeling. But I just feel like saying my thoughts and feelings out loud here. This resounding silence is really suffocating.

I'm feeling down, tired, confused and somehow lost in my own complicated feelings. I should trust my better judgment. Sometimes feeling is just unreliable. Because it was inconsistent.

I finally decide not to go on with this kind of feeling. Maybe I was just over the moon when someone showed that he cared for me. Saya jak yang perasan tu mungkin. Haha! I was acting like a kid!!

I promised myself to give my heart to a person who deserve me. But most importantly, to the person who God wants me to be with. Someone who love and seek God in his life, living under God's rule and follow Jesus example as the head of the family who strive to seek God.

Maybe I was just caught up with my unstable emotion. Ya, semua hanyalah emosi semata-mata. I sounds pathetic. Haiyaa, I pity myself. LoL.

If someone read this, you definitely think i'm pathetic right now. Random ranting about my feeling. Aduii. But its okay. I'm human. And with my fallen humanity, I am not perfect. Although I am conscious about it, I can't help myself from saying it out loud here.

Okaylah..done with feeling-feeling nih. I should focus on my task. 3000words international economic history III. yeayy~ gambateh. due esok! in tute!