End of year: Truthful me.

Writing this entry had been the most challenging entry I've ever done. Writing about the truthful me, I am facing with my own insecurity and my insidious secret.

Honestly, 2013 had been a very challenging year for me. While taking shower this morning, I've been drafting my entry in my head what to write to conclude 2013. When I open my FB today, first thing I saw in my timeline is how people describe their 2013, and many of them said that they are so thankful and grateful for all the experience and the people they've met this year. I've decided to do a bit more in-depth analysis for how 2013 had been treating me. Here it goes..

1. Resolution for 2013

I did not get HD for all of my subject, my summer school earlier this year was really hectic because I was trying to juggle my time between studying two subject in 6 weeks and moving house, uni experience had been very challenging, TIBS was self-correcting and rebuking, walking with God was not easy, I don't have enough saving, I still doubt myself whenever I met new people, I am not sure what soft-skills I acquire this year, and I am not sure if I've speak louder enough. Nevertheless, I am glad that all my ten resolution for 2013 was not an impossible mission. I am grateful enough to conclude 2013 with all my resolution list being ticked-off. I did not get the highest and the most, but I did my best. And I think, that is all that matters. 

2. To love

I wrote this second entry early this year saying that I would like to allow myself to love me more, love others more and to love God more. I'd never thought that this will be a bitter sweet journey, full of surprises. Not only I realised that I could love myself, others and God more, but I must. Not just because I should because God says so, but it is a lifetime commitment. This realisation brings me to another level of my life that had changed my perspective this year. That is, I should be honest and truthful to myself.

Truthful me.

I did not have a measurement for how much I grow this year as a person. But I was aware that I am changing. Being 22, I realised that I am getting older. I was scared. Scared of being adult. Because I realised that as I grow older, I am aware of my responsibility over my own life. I was aware that experience can influence how I think, how I act and how I speak. This experience was shaped by the place, the people and everything around me. I realised that I was in dire need of God, I also realised how important it is to be deeply rooted in His word, and how important it is to live my life under God's rule when I declare Him as my King. Nevertheless, I was reminded about two things:

1. That I could cast all my fears to God. I took comfort in God's promises and sovereignty. PSALM 139

2. God is 100% in control of everything happen in my life, and I am 100% responsible for my action as well.

Student life had been very exciting journey. I thank God for the opportunity to study abroad. Indeed God has His own plan for His children. I can't thank Him enough. This year had been a roller-coaster journey for me, yet beautiful and life-changing.

Its almost two years now. Sometime I wonder if I am truly over with my feelings. I try my best to convince myself that I am alright and I've moved on. But sometime the past did catch up with my present. And when it did, I can't help myself from crying. If I didn't have any feelings for the person anymore, then why did it hurt that bad and that much? Missing that person can be so suffocating and heart wrenching. Sometime I wondered if I will be okay seeing him with other women. And I am sure that day will come. And I can't run away from it. If that's the case, then, I will cling to God tightly. I am praying the best for him. Surely, God know what's inside my heart.

Leading TIBS this year had been the most wonderful experience I've had in Adelaide. I am thankful to God for by His grace and love, He moved my heart and enable me to serve Him and to serve others so that I may not take any credit for that, but all glory to God. I am thankful for the teaching, rebuking, correcting and training for righteousness through the scripture to be thoroughly equipped for all the good works. And I am thankful for my brothers and sisters who had showed me the meaning of building up one another. With that I am especially thankful to God for Bernie, and Ally.

I remember one time I was conducting seminar discussion. I thought that I will never be able to do it. I have no experience, and I kept thinking that my English was so poor, I'd thought that the 20 people in the seminar room will get confused or will not understand what I am saying. I was so nervous, I think I could faint. Or even run for my life out from that room. But I am so thankful to God, for giving me strength and courage that day. The 2hours discussion was done, and my group got HD for that. I realised that day, that it was not so much about how good your English are, but how you deliver the content.  

I guess, end of year allow me to reflect things that happen in my life the whole year. But also enable me to think for my resolution for 2014. Future seems uncertain for me. But I am certain that God is in control. I will face another transition in my life next year. Soon, I am not a uni student anymore but I will keep learning for it is an ongoing process.

To conclude, 2013 allow me to appreciate every little things in life. When life gets tough, those little things can cheer me up. 

Almost end of the year!

Wishing everyone Merry Christmas 2013!

I hope it is not too late for a warm greetings for this season. I've been holding back myself from posting anything this month. With heavy heart, I did not go home this Christmas. I've canceled my flight back home last minute because of some matters that I need to make sure it is done before I go back for good next year.
Fingers crossed, I am going to graduate this coming April. Praying that everything will go smoothly. And may God's will be done.

This year was so different and strange for me. I'd never felt so out of place like this. Knowing that I am finishing my studies this year, I haven't prepared anything to get into the new stage in my life-working. I am unsure of this transition. I'd never give my self time to really think what I want to do when I go back home. Do I straight away do some job hunting, or do I take a break for a few months then make a move. But to be honest, I want to work as soon as I go back. I don't like idleness. I'd like to do something, get busy. It keeps me moving.

Nevertheless, this is my first time being alone in Adelaide. Away from family, with no friends at home. I felt a bit lonely and lost, not knowing what to do or to whom I should talk to. But I want to praise God, who's always there for me although sometime I cried talking to Him.

This Christmas remind me about God's unfailing and unconditional love. I've heard Christmas stories many times. But God put people around me to remind me that although I said I am a Christian, born in Christian family, accepting Christ is my personal decision. Indeed, I've taken the decision. But I kept thinking about others, who's still contemplating to accept Him or even those who might not even believing what God has done through His Son, Jesus Christ. My heart long to share this love that God had made it known to me with others.

Summer is not yet at its peak. January is approaching very-very soon. And Adelaide will once again reach its highest point for summer. I hope that I could go through the hot days, just like I could go through the cold days. Yet I am thankful enough for the different seasons I got to experience here in Adelaide.

I am posting again soon. To conclude my year 2013. And perhaps reviewing my 2013 resolution. And get ready for new hope and new goal for 2014.

Until then.

Trial Waitstaff cont..

Hi there, it was my second day being a trial staff. I was asked by my manager if I want to work tonight. But I said no. And now I am home. I am glad that I was home. But I wore the wrong shoes. My feet was blistered. And deep down, I regret not staying. Because I know I will learn more if I stayed for tonight.

I actually did much better than last time. I just got a bit lost with the table arrangements. Some table has no number on it and I have to think which table it is when I send out the food. I think the cook was a bit upset when I didn't deliver all the food as fast as possible. This is my first time working under pressure from someone else.

I did find myself enjoying cleaning the glasses though. Because it was more relaxing. But I can only do it if there is no table to be cleaned. So far what I do was to help serving the food, and clean the table. But from what I see what other staff do, they do the dessert, make coffee, make drinks etc.

To be honest, when I first started as trial staff, I went to youtube and mr.google to get some enlightenment on how to be a wait-staff. But to my surprise, there is actually nothing much. I guess it was because the demands and styles and knowledge varies from one restaurant to another. But there is some few tips that I could share what I learned so far.

Before (Interview)

1. Be there on time.

I got lost when I first came for interview and the manager was actually a bit baffled. I was late for almost an hour! But I did told them I get lost looking for the restaurant.

2. Wear something decent. At least presentable.

I just get back from doing my first job. I got to shower and put on clean clothes. But I look clean and fresh. So yeah. Try your best looking presentable.

During trial.

1. Wear all black.

This is what my manager said to me when I first came. She asked me to wear all black when I come for the trial. Black shirts (formal/non formal is fine-depends on the restaurant), black pants (you can wear skirts at knee length or wear black dress is fine!), black shoes (you might take some time to wisely choose your shoes that you going to wear- consider comfy at most as you will stand and walk for long hours)

2. Makeup and hairdo.

Is not really important. But, if you can make yourself looks professionals is a plus! Be presentable to your customer. Iron your shirts if you need. For girls, tie your hair (for long hair) or at least put some clips. Put some colours on your face. SMILE! Believe me. It was the most crucial makeup!

3. Be confident.

I was actually nervous for my first time. I guess that is how most people feel for the first time. But be confident in your own skin. Remember, this is not about you. This is about your customer that you are serving!

4. Be proactive.

Try to find ways on how you can help other server if you don't know what to do. Or ask your manager. Learn from them. Don't be shy to make mistakes. *I broke two glasses today* But keep moving. And don't just stand doing nothing. There must be something you can do.

5. Look look look. Remember the table number. Remember the food you are serving.

Once you get used to the table number, and the food you are serving, it will be easier for you to help serving the food. I was actually being shouted for being confused which table to serve the food first.

6. Learn how to read the docket.

I don't know how other restaurant takes order from the customer. But in my case, they use docket and they stick it up near the food windows.

7. Know the drinks.

I was responsible for making sure glasses are being washed and cold water being put inside the fridge. But I don't know most of the drinks are. Especially the wine etc. But I think it will be helpful if you know the drinks.

Over all, seeing what other waitstaff do their job today, I was amazed how fast and skillful they are. They look so relaxed and they know exactly what to do. Sometime I find myself standing in the middle, waiting the food ready to be served. I wish I didn't feel so out of place. I wanted so much to help and do my best. But maybe I was just new to all of this.

But I have to admit, I enjoy today. I would like to be better than today. And I hope, someday, I will not be so out of place anymore. And I could be like my new friend, Chris, Agnes, Pooi, Rudy and Rodriguez. =)

Until then.

Trial Waitstaff

Long story short, instead of going back home for Christmas this year, I stayed back and was having my most wonderful 'home alone' experience. I'd never thought being alone at home will be this depressing. You got no one to talk to. Last year was alright, because one of my housemate is staying back. So, I was not alone. But this year was different. 

Unemployed and currently broke, that is why I went to one of the most popular website that can help me finding a job. That is why I like Gumtree. He help me to find this job that I am currently on trial. As a waitress in L... restaurant in Glenelg Beach.

To be honest, I don't have any experience as a waitress, but I would like to try being one. Just for the sake of the experience. Well, as much as I want to convince my self that I wanted the experience more than anything, it seems like, money was the reason too. Yeap, I need it. But not after they really accept me as a waitstaff. I am a newbie. Inexperienced one. I am not even sure if it was worth to invest their time for me. But I am a fast learner. Although I feel like not doing it now, I was thinking to just have a go with it. At least once.

I got a piece of advise from the manager when I first came to the restaurant for trial. He said, 'Rosa, can I give you piece of advise? You should approach more. Be confident and brave. You have to do it. Go out there. Not just standing here and do nothing. If not, there is nothing we could help you, and you won't learn much.' Ouch! That was a really good advice for me. To be honest, I was not that brave. That is why, when I apply for this job, I was quite amazed where did I find the gut to even asked for the job?

It was 3 hours trial. I know I did't do very well. But I want to try more. I'm going again tomorrow. The busiest day of the week. Saturday. When most people go out to the beach. Oh, fingers-crossed. I don't know how it will be. I just hope that I will remember the table, and know how to read the docket and yeah, serve the food.

Until then.