Let me tell u a story about a girl..feel free to read..^^

Long time ago, there was a girl..who devoted her life to God and love her family very much. Always..she wanted to do her best so ppls around her will be happy. She love to love others..and love to be loved. God is love and she loved God very much,thus..she wanted to love everything that God had loved.

One day, she met a man who soon she fall in love with. She’s terribly scared when she realized her true feeling coz everything is not right everytime she look at him. She feels like there’s butterflies in her stomach, she feels like melting when he gave her the ‘look’..and she seems to lost her speech and her thought seems to drift away.. it is a wonderful feeling though but it made her felt insecure coz she always tot that she could control her feeling and emotion..It feels wrong but somehow it feels alright for her to love him.

As years passed, the love grows in her heart like a seed into a blooming flower. its beautiful..She cannot lied to her own heart nymore coz she do love this man very much. There were so many things that had happened between them, which brought them till tis day but amazingly she manage to go thru evrythng evnthough she faced a lot of heart wrenching moments..

She found out that everything she had gone thru with him had taught her so many things about life. Evrytime they had a fight, it makes her draw closer to God as she don’t have nobdy except God. Everytime she missed him till her heart ache, evrytime she wanted so much to say how much she love and care 4him, there’s only one way she could think of..she will kneel down and cries,pouring her heart and pray that God will take care of her beloved ones, her friends and her families.

Now she had traveled to another city doing wat life had made her to choose. evnthough they were miles apart,her love for him is true. She was totally scared to see what the future holds, scared that she wouldn’t make it..but somehow thinking of him gave her strength to move on one step forward..she wants to do it not only for herself but to her beloved family and to her loved ones..and most importantly..she believe that its God’s will.. She do learns a lot, she knows that life is not an easy journey, but to live thru God’s will, she’ll have faith. She may do wrongs sumtime, coz nobody’s perfect, but she did learn from her mistakes.

Now she was not afraid to love him. But it was just the matter of time and the commitment that laid between both of them. Maybe they need times and spaces. Problems do happen and she was trying so hard to hold on. She was confused. between to love and be loved. too hurt to know he's hurt, and too hurt to love him that much and too hurt for the things that have been said. she knows that it's a sin to love him that much but she just can't help it. love is so powerful..its God's greatest grace. 

She understands him well and prayed the best 4 him. If to let him go is the best choice to make him happy, she’s willing to do so even though she’ll sacrifice her heart and the overwhelming love she had for him. She could be insane to lose him but as she had faith in God..she wanted nothing except to do wat God pleases. 

now that she had confessed her feeling, she's afraid that love could also destroyed her. she had love him innocently and sincerely.. but will their love survived next time?when her love was doubted by him..will she believe him after what had happened?coz now she doubt that its not love between them but only the feeling of wanting to know that someone love them..she always believe b4 but now..after what had happened..it's hard to decide and to think..did he knows that she was crying,trying so hard to fix her broken heart..?will the man she love help her to fix it back?..will love heal the wounds that bleed everytime she put her hands close to her heart..? 

She knows that she’s an ordinary person and wanted nothing but peace and love..she was left without too many choices..she wouldn’t want to hurt anybody..except to love..just love..

forgiveness is always in her heart..and she's always more than willing to give it..

It’s life after all. and life moves on. God’s love is agape and praised the Lord he had died on the cross to save me, u and others for the sins we did in the past, present and future. And its all because of love. Always remember that God’s plan is always wonderful to each and everyone of us. 
Happy comin Easter Day. Selamat melayani. Playanan adlh 1 ibdah yg mrni d hdpn Tuhan. jdilah anak yg baik..Sy sda mrelakan semua yg trjadi. Jgn rsa mnyesal atau rasa bersalah. Let bygone be bygone. Hidup prlu diteruskan. There’s more in life..and always rely to God in everything we do..

choices bring change ..

ok la..before sy tidur..mau share dlu la apa yg sy bljr mlm ni.. tapi sy ubah ckit2 la spya economic theory nih boleh kita aplikasikan dlm hidup kita.. :) especially tuk kawan2 yg masih study..

ECONOMIC WAY OF THINKING
~place scarcity and its implication, choice at the center stage.
we can think about every choice as a tradeoff~an exchange~giving up one thing to get something else
~we always think about what, how and for whom..
these question become sharper when we think in terms of trade..

ha..dlm hidup..kita punya banyak keterbatasan.. tapi yang bestnya..kita juga punya banyak pilihan..
bagun pagi saja kita suda berhadapan dgn pilihan..
samada mau bangun awal.. terus pi mandi.. or masuk dalam selimut.. then tidur balik..
apa pun yg kita buat soalan2 5W1H tu selalu menentukan keputusan yg kita ambil..erm..rasanya most of the time kan..

our choice change over time. and the quality of our life improve.
(so jgn risau. apapun keadaan hidup kita sekarang, kalau kamu rasa susah ka..boring ka..nda siok ka.. it will improve juga)

BUT the quality of our lives and the rate at which they improve depends on our choices that involve tradeoff..

contoh pilihan2 :

~how much effort and how much to expect ?

~how much effort to devote ourselves to education and training ?

~how much effort to study and improve ourselves ?

apa la ni tradeoff kan.. kalau kita refer dgn hidup kita..tradeoff tu contohnya..
~when people choose how to spend their time(kita punya bnyak masa. tp selalu org bagi alasan nda cukup masa. padahal semua org ada 24h. itu sudah lebih dari cukup)
~choose what the outcome they want..(if u failed to plan. u plan to fail)
ex: kalau utk student mau keputusan mcmana ; HD,D,credit,pass or lulus..


ni quote kegemaran :

if we put more effort,we could reap more.

if we take less leisure time, we can educate and train ourselves to become more productive

if we study more, and devote ourselves seriously (study smart, discipline, perseverance) we will be a better person in the future..(ada masa depan yg baik la)

as a conclusion :
"the choice we make in the face of this tradeoff determine the pace of our life condition improve"

jadi apa pilihan dalam hidup kamu ? bah, buat la pilihan baik2.. :) mat malam semua.

if no string attached, then shud attached more to God

every monday..i have a compulsory duty.. : masak :)
today's menu : Telur sambal, kubis sos tiram, n wedges plus nasi putih.. :)
i know..nda la sedap mana pun..siap ada rasa pahit lagi tu sambal before kak ana n che eika tolong selamatkan..
coz bawang sini besar2..then kalau x tumis betol2 rasa pahit.. :)
tq k.ana  n che eika.. :)

ok la..esok ada kelas .. so mau tidur awal.. study econs jap..
ehh.. sy belum mandi..mau p mandi dulu la,, :)

bye all.. have a good night!

bid farewell and goodwell..

mesti kita sedih kan kalau benda yang kita sayang rosak/hilang..
mesti kita sedih juga..kalau kita kehilangan orang yang kita sayang..
nda kira la.. family atau kawan..

apalagi kalau apa yang kita usahakan selama ni gagal..

sedih kan ?

mau ucap good bye pun kadang2 sedih..

hari ni sy tiba2 rasa mcm mau bid farewell and goodbye sama seseorang ni.. :) andai saja dia tau..
adehh..mood jiwang sda si allyn..
adakah pengaruh music blog ni ?? haha~ nda tau la..

should i or should not ?

sampai masa semua kita akan hadapi perpisahan kan..

dan bukan all the time juga kita berblog..
kita tgk ja..sampai bila org yg blogging ni akan tetap setia dengan blog drg..

ada masa..pasti semua org nda mau berblog suda..
bila ??
hmm..sy pun x tau la.. sbp semua org ada hidup masing2.. jadi ikut mcmna hidup dorang la yng akan tentukan.. :) adeii.. si allyn merepek lagi...

hari ni sy mau jalankan operasi :

"UNCLUTTER MYLIFE"
remove and treatment..
supaya..
ada HEALING...

:D baiklah... dekat suda jam 4.30pm ni.. sy mau masak.. awal ??
nda la..Adelaide cepat malam sekarang..jam 5.30pm suda mula gelap.
Malam Panjang...Pagi pendek..:) haha..
mana ada..sbnrnya..panjang juga waktu pagi tu..tapi pagi.. cerah awal sngt.. jam 5 mau terang suda..

 

hari ni nak masak apa..

sampai sini.. baru dpt peluang masak .. hahaha~
bukan apa..
cuma masa di rumah dulu.. mama yang selalu masak.. sebap mama masak sedappp.. hhee
(padahal..si allyn malas masuk dapur) ~~adeii.. mcmana mau jadi sumandak nihhh...

tapi ok la..
siok juga masak2 ni..
dlu masa budak2..rajin pula sy main masak2 kan..
hahaha~
sampai sini.. bagus juga kalau sy aplikasiakn..

ok enuf kerandoman...

hari ni sy mau masak apa aa...
adeii.. sy ni nda pandai masak menu yang spesel2 mcm kawan2 housmate sy nih..
rasanya everyweek klau dorang masak siap masak new resepi.. best juga.. :) dapat try macam2 resepi.. hehehe...

ok la.. nnti sy google apa mau masak.. hahaha!
Google2... ko ni dah jadi sifu memasak pula.. :DDD

its offficially Winter at Adelaide

Scrapbooking

yup, its Winter here! wlpun dlm gmbr xda salji..
tp mmng betol pun..Adelaide xda salji..
hnya certain place ja ada..cuti
winter ni nnti ada trip bersama senior and kawan2..

i'm looking forward for it.. yeahh.. :)

its freaking cold here.. siapa pernah pi Bundu Tuhan ? Kundasang ? Hotel Pine Resort ?
aduihh..kalau x pkai jacket..just baju T yg nipis.. haaa..macm tu la sejuk dia cni.. hhu~
i'm in need of heater tpi belum beli2 lagi ..

exam..
sejuk..
buat saya lapar 24 hours..
haha..
pulang msia nanti GemOk la sy nih... :DDD

dekat2 exam..

exam is coming..
rasa malas nak kluar..
hhu..wlaupun dlm hati mau betul jalan2..haha

eisshh..kpla beserabut..

hrm..mcmna la tu essay sy tu ahh..huhu

haha..

adaii..sedih betul ni music d blog sy.. haha..

haaaaahh...

i have nothing if i don't have you..

i think i'm in love once again.. look what this word have done to me..:'(

keep strong allyn.. : )

p/s: don't misunderstood by my post yaa... nothing happen.. 

new life, new perspective.. breath slowly..thank God

again..i'm talking about new page!

well..hm..as i do multitasking just now..which is..blogging, fb-ng,writing essay and daydreaming..

Gosh..if i continue to be like this, i'll screw my final exam..

well enuf self-pitying..

just now i went to blogwalking..read my friends blog..

somehow they give me an inspiration..life is mystery right..:)

i am sure God wouldn't want me to feel discourage with my situation right now..

i do learned my lesson..

so it time to move forward..

i have exam starting this 23rd of June..ending 29th..

i want to do the best as i possibly can..

i want to do something worth for my sacrifices..

and as my gratitude to JPA, family and friends who had been supporting me all the way..

doing as if for God, the giver of all..

thanks Lord for this wonderful opportunity.

i would like to open my heart, hear Him more, learn more, gain more, 

wisdom and whatever this path that i have choose has to offer..

i know..along the way..God is preparing me to be more matured,more responsible and having more wisdom!

part of growing up i guess..^_^

well the past is pass..i should move on! chayo2 allyn..

i'm looking forward for my exam..

God i pray so that You continuously give me a heart that fear You,

for fear to God is the beginning of wisdom.

remind me  of my responsibility..and help me to manage my time wisely, and to be able to revise consistently throughout this SwotVac.

God i pray that i will not sick during my exam..and also everything will go smoothly during my exam period..

i pray so that weather is good eventhough its winter and the coldness is very challenging to me physically and mentally nowadays..

i prayed that my friends and i could answer all the question without much difficulties, that we're able to apply what we've been studying this past few months.

dear God,

i miss my family. i prayed that everyone is in a good health, may You guide us all in everything we do, whatever we do, and wherever we are..especially my parents who working so hard for us, both my brothers who's working and studying far from us, both my sisters who's working and studying too.. May Your grace and love be with them. May Your light shine upon us.

God i want to rejoice in Your name.

Thank you for the opportunity to join the holy communion last week, the moment is very precious to me, as it is my first time having it here with brothers and sisters in Christ. Teach me oh Lord on how to serve others and open my heart to take part in the church activities. Even though i have no other friends to accompany me, I know that i am never alone for i have You.

Thank you God.

Open my eyes more to see all the wonderful things You've done to my life.

Give me a grateful heart, shape me accordingly to Your will. Let me be moderate in every way i am. 

Keep me in Your safe place Lord,

For You are my safe harbor.

In Jesus name, I prayed.. 

Amen.

hey all..

its been sometime i didn't really put myself into writing..not to forgot to mention my previous entry..it is well-linked with what i'm going to post today..
you see..something came up lately..and i'm feeling terribly tired and sad right now..i've been posting my innermost feeling at fb..and writing entry which actually what my heart wanna say..
the reason why i've been moody tis past few weeks or day is..


it's over.. ~

i'm not sure if anyone realise i am having a bad day..and having a difficult times.. only some people know.. especially my sis who sat next to me.. our discussion about marketing and economics had helped me a lot to go through the pain i'm having..

what is being 'over'?

lets kept it a question..after all..its complicated and boring to explain. you'll understand eventually.

today feel different.. something's missing..

i do feel something is not right..but the reason is on my previous post in fb.. yup..its over that is why i felt different..that something's missing.. half of my heart is missing...

i'm trying to hold on..its been so hard for me..yup..it must been very hard..that i post encouragement to me..

sabar seja la allyn... :)

ya..sabar allyn..sabar..

but the more i kept it in myself..the more my heart cried the more i felt hurt..

God .. my ♥ 's hurt like stomachache..

indeed its hurt like stomachache.. can u imagine that pain.. 

well you could if u ever got stomach upset..especially when the pain is at maximum..that's how its like.. or maybe more painful..beyond what you could imagine..

this feeling distract me so much..i couldn't concentrate doing my final assignment for this sem..i couldn't think any to write for my 1500words development study essay..this will affect my marks..i know it will..

heart and mind.. please cooperate.. please.. finish this task first..

but i'll do my best to finish it..i'm not giving up..this is the largest percentage in this subject..so i better do it..

i almost hate night..why ? cause i can't sleep.. i did go to bed early now.. not like last time..but still can't sleep..i'll stay awake and keep telling myself to sleep. this is the problem.

at last, i've got the cure. i've been praying and reading bible before i sleep. but last night God give me exactly what i need. those words reminds me and seems to tell me what should i do..

ask forgiveness..that even you come closer to God when things between you and others is not yet settled, u've been hypocrite to God..and God is love yet fair..he'll still look at you being hypocrite..at Him and also to yourself.. it slapped my heart and my pride...

i am so sory for whoever i've hurt their feelings..

i never had any intention to hurt your feelings.. i never want..and i would never do..

i know that i have faults..that even i say i never want to hurt you..that's exactly what i did..and i'm sorry..

maybe because i am hurt too..and i want you to feel the same..

i wonder is that how most people did and human did..?? i wonder.. is that the reason why we hurt others because we are hurt at the first place..

how i wish i could love others like we loved God coz God has first love us..

but i know i couldn't compare with my love with God's love coz God's love is greater than anything..greater than human's..

we, humans.. we always change..  everything will change..

this changes is what happening to me now..

i've changed..

my thoughts, my feelings.. it changed..

it think more, and feel more.. the more i know..the more is more..

alright..i start to loose my track..i better go back to track..

mmm..this is my pray last night..

God, I prayed that I could go thru tis pain. Amen. :) Good nite all.. ♥

indeed it's better to pray for strength to be able to go through the pain rather than ask God to put away the pain. coz whatever i did, the pain is there and the realisation that the pain wont go away and is there..

the painful i felt..i just have to go through with it.. eventually it'll get better..

anyway..i know i am being emotional lately.. i'm sorry..this is soo not me..

but i am merely a human that have faults and weaknesses.

sometime i couldn't hide my feeling..

and its better to express rather than to keep it inside.

let the problem be kept in my heart. coz i would like to share it only with my Father. i know He sees me through. and every pain i have He understand.

i prayed that, God also kept him into his grace. that he will also have the courage and strength to go through this all. this must be hard for him too..as much as what i felt.

i'm not being considerate. just being understanding. i deeply understand what it felts.

may God give him peace and a heart of joy. that this pain will eventually eased.. that he'll have a heart..to do whatever he wants in his life...

amen..

cinta bukan mainan ok.

kalau kamu in relationship (Boys girls relationship).. apa kamu mau buat supaya hubungan kamu tu kekal atau dalam kata lain apa kamu mau buat untuk menjaga hubungan kamu.. ?

mesti ada yang ckap saling tolak ansur lah, saling menjaga hati la.. saling memaafkan, saling memahami, menerima apa adanya..etc2.. banyak lah cara yang boleh dibuat..

ada juga yang cakap..kita serah kan sama Tuhan..betul..saya sangat setuju..
sebap dalam apapun..kita mesti juga serahkan relationship kita dengan Tuhan..sebap itu reflect apa dasar sesuatu hubungan kita..

ada juga yang cakap couple ni x baik.. apa pendapat kamu ? hrm..terpulang lah kan..tepuk dada tnyalah kata hati..

kita boleh bagi bnyak alasan kenapa couple ni tidak bagus..baik dari segi agama, morality, culture atau pun pendapat masing2..
tapi ada banyak alasan juga kenapa kita cakap couple ni tidaklah se'jahat' yang orang fikir..
semua ada baik buruk..

tapi bukan tu yng sy mau cakap..
hari ni sy mau cakap..

kalau kamu couple kamu terus fikir pasal mau kawin ka ? aiseh.. saaajaa mau tnya laa..

bah, begini lah..kalau lah relationship kita tu tidak bertahan..
awal2 memanglah banyak cabaran kan..sampai ada cerita yang betul2 dramatik..ada juga lah cinta mcm romeo n juliet.. ada juga cerita yang senang2 ja trus boleh couple..

tapi pernah kah kita terfikir, macmana yang relationship break tu ?
ada yang rasa sakit, ada juga yang tidak boleh kasi lupa, ada yang jadi sasau angau..mcam-macam lah..ada juga yang heppi.. sebap nda sanggup suda lama2 brcple sama org mcm ni..so,brek-up
ada yang break sebap suka2..ada yang sbp curang, jeles, kematian, kena halang lah..apa la..mcm2 la..

tapi kalau yang for no reason ?
ah, mustahil la ada yang macm tu kan..mesti ada reason bah..
sy rasa sebap terlampau penat sudah bah tu balik2 begitu...

pas tu kalau senang2 ja relationship tu putus, maknanya masing2 belum ready buat komitmen la bah tu. FRAGILE betul tu relationship.
lagipun takkan ko mau kawin sama org macm tu kan. yang tiada komitmen dalam sesuatu perhubungan.
kalau ko mau kawin sama tu urang la..

kalau betul mau berkomitmen, mestila bah hubungan tu kena jaga bagus2 kan.. tapi mcmna kalau sebelah pihak ja berusaha mau jaga? mesti la nda jadi kan..
apa lagi kalau yang dua2 pihak nda mau jaga.. alamat hancur lah sesuatu perhubungan tuu..

apa2 pun..kalau suda break jangan la pula ada yang sedih berabis-rabis nih.. simpan lah hati tu untuk kegunaan masa depan. sebap hidup bukan takat sampai relationship tu putus. panjang lagi perjalanan hidup. yang student, belajar dulu..ingat lah..masa jadi budak sikul paling best! yang uni student, bahh...skijap ja lagi mau habis study suda..pas tu kerja..baru lah kamu rasa apa tu hidup.. yang bekerja suda..bah..pray lahh..Tuhan mau bagi yang lain..atau..cuba reflect balik..mana silap..kalau ada salah..kasi betull..ambil pengajaran.. kalau teda..move on sejaa..

kita hidup punya hati. dan salah satu tanggungjawab kita adalah menjaga hati kita. dan kalau berani mau in relationship, tanya sama hati, boleh sudahkah jaga hati org lain. ?? ingat cinta tu boleh membangun..juga boleh menghancurkan.

jangan suka hati buat hati org lain hancur. so ingatlah yg couple2 ni jangan dibawa main. itu bukan mainan.

today is a sad day

sad day..coz..
tomorrow is the last day of my class..
sad day coz didnt got time to say thank you to all my friends..who had been with me this sem..
sad coz..i should do better in my midterm exam..
sad coz..there are many things i've missed that i didn't realize..
sad coz..there are many things happen here..but no one knows..
sad coz..i miss my family..friends..
sad coz of...
sad coz... i dunno what to study..
sad coz...
sad coz...
sad... :(

Laura Story: Blessings

Laura Story: Blessings
www.laurastorymusic.com

Lyrics:
We pray for blessings
We pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love is way too much to give us lesser things

'Cause what if your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

We pray for wisdom
Your voice to hear
We cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt your goodness, we doubt your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough
All the while, You hear each desperate plea
As long as we have faith to believe

When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know that pain reminds this heart
That this is not our home

What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy
What if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are your mercies in disguise