~ If growing up is the process of creating ideas and dreams about what life should be, then maturity is letting go again. ~
One of my biggest fear as i grow up is growing up... so many things had changed..my self, people around me, changing events, surprises, and i guess..yes...life is a mystery for i don't know about the future and what lies ahead..
i still remember,when i was still in primary school..i want to grow up faster..because i don't like people who is years older than me telling me things, showing that they know better than me..and acting like they know everything and i know nothing..
at that time, i was so mad at those people..for me it is unfair..i'm being discriminated because of my age..heyy..i am young but doesn't mean i know nothing..doesn't mean i don't have anything to say, doesn't mean i don't have my own thoughts..sometimes i thought that my opinion is not that bad after all...why don't people appreciate my opinion? sometimes young people's give new idea n a fresher perspective about things happen around them!
scolding me will not make things better, it will just worsen it more..there is one time that i want to tell them to SHUT UP and LISTEN!i have my own thoughts and i want u to know!
FORTUNATELY..my parents did tells me things i don't know..millions thanks to them for explaining things to me..they share a lot of story with me..I LOVE STORY! what a wonderful life i had back then..i still remember before going to bed,my father used to tell me bed time story..MANJA?me?? no la..hhe.. i just like to hear story thats all..what story?well my father like to tell me lots of animal story..back then..they become my fantasy..He told me about the story of birds,grasshopper,monkey,lion,snake,frog,tortoise and a lot more..each of them have their own characters..the bad and the good,hero and enemies..my dad used to put values in his story..
for me..mY DAD is the greatest story teller ever in my life..
through his story, i learned many moral values..and he always stress his points which is RESPECT YOUR PARENTS,and always be good to others..his story shape my value and characters..
other than story about animals,my dad used to tell me about my ancestor..the surprisings story which most of my siblings didn't knows..as he tell me those story, i learned to respect my culture and my ancestor..i learned where i belong...
my DAD is my hero..=)
as for my mom,she's good at giving advices and lots of them are based on her own life story..my Mom knows me best..she knows i am easy to feel sorry and empathy..i am PROUD of my mother..she had a good heart and i love her so much!
my mom is pretty,but as i grow up,she's growing old toO..same goes to my dad..when he was young,he was handsome in his pictures..and there are times when i look at my dad..when he sit at our living rooms,reading newspaper, or doing some chores..i will say to my mom.."Mom..when i grow up and ready to have relationship..i want to have a boyfriend like dad"..my mom will laugh..and my father will stay silent..showing no response..hha! but dad...i know behind the newspaper, you was smiling..:)
i do a lot of mistakes..and i admit that..i am a stubborn child when i was young..my parents always get angry because of me..punishment come and i will cry and cry till my face got swollen..hhe!what a day!
but every time, after they punish me, they will come to me and tell me why they punish me,and why what i've done is wrong.. they make me understand..and because of that everytime i make mistake and they punish me..i wont get angry because i understand it is my fault..
i RESPECT them for that..through understanding i know better and learn better..
during my secondary school..i think that it was the toughest time in my life..like people owez said..teenager are experiencing identity conflict.. my teenage time is the journey of searching of who i am..untill today i am still searching for who i am..
sometimes it is hard especially when it comes to study and my social life..'friends'.. i make new friends..they come and go..changing from one place to another..facing new experience and obstacles, possibility and success and also failure..i am a human being and i accept that..world is full of uncertainty and i know that i have to go through everything with open heart and mind.. sometimes my heart wants to rebel and wants to break free from all the confusion i felt..
but I AM GLAD for i've found my SAVIOUR..Christ Jesus! i am saved and i have a new life! my life changed!Thanks GOD!
many things had happened in my life..and i am sure that same goes to everyone.. today..my mom calls me..i am so happy..i miss her so much..
and today she told me that my eldest bro wants to get married at the end of this year!waaah!! i'am glad..but what comes to my mind scared me..
i'm getting older!!yess thats the truth..i am growing up! when i look back at those years i've gone through..waa..so many things had happened in my life..but still...my future are still waiting for me..and again..i still need to move on and just experience this life...
after all..growing up is not bad at all..its just the numbers of years i've lived.. i just have to live this life and just move on..life is a journey..full of changing events and uncertainty.. i've learned that as long as i LIVED with my GOD i don't have to be afraid of anything...For God will sustained me..i will run to the ends and keep my faith in HIM..=)
