Friday talk.

Last Friday, I had a meeting with one of the TIBS leader. We've arranged our meeting one and a half hour earlier before we start our usual bible study summer series. I know this conversation is coming..I did pray in advance if God wants me to be part of it..so that I'll have the courage to say yes..and able to accept with open heart and mind.

I am nervous about it. Of course everyone will. We had our dinner while we chat. And then..the big question finally comes in..and was laid out boldly in front of me. I know..this is a huge opportunity that might not comes often in my life. But most importantly..I know that..this is actually the feeling that I got..when I prayed for my new year resolution this year. So..I was actually having a mixed feeling. I was nervous but excited at the same time.

You see, I've seen myself changed over the years. Being away from my family, studying abroad has given me the chance to grow as a person. And the most exciting part that's been happening in mylife is acknowledging myself changing inside out.

This two years had been a reflection year for me. I learned a lot. I've changed, and I am renewed. I am so very thankful to God, for His love and grace for me.. I am able to come to know more and more about Jesus, and His word..the meaning of His cross and the opportunity to respond His love for me.

I understand if those who read couldn't make sense of what I was trying to say. Nor the people around me whether they know what has been happening to me..or even my family. But its okay. Sometimes they don't have to know..because at the end of the day..it doesn't matter. What matter is knowing that God sees me..and knows me more than anyone. And whatever happens, I could boast, in God who makes all things happen.

I had a good feeling this year. Most probably because I am confident in God, that He is holding my life and has a great plan ahead of me. It is a refreshing start..something that I almost forget I've felt it before. The day when I surrender my life to Jesus!

This year, I was asked to be part of the TIBS board. I will soon start my training as one of the leader for bible study. This is indeed a huge task. A task that I never imagine myself doing. I've never even considered my self to lead others..because most of the time..I was more to 'be part of' instead of 'to lead'. 

However..as I prayed on the new year.. I know that I really longed to be mature in Christ, to know Him more, to have a relationship with Him closer than before. And I believe, as a Christian, our faith grows in an increasing momentum. Although there will be up and down in life, it will always going up hills..bringing us to the next level. We might never actually realised it in life.. But when you reach to a certain stages in life..I am sure..you could see the position of your life..very loud and clear. When you comes to that stage in life..you have to make a decision. What is it that really matter in your life? What is it that you were trying hard to reach out for? In my case..I decided..to give my life to God, and to trust His plan for mylife.

It is a joy in mylife. To be reminded about His faithfulness. Although sometime I do feel like I didn't deserve such love..it makes me feel even more grateful, humbled and most of all..love God for who He is all the more!

I know.. I am a sinner. But God already forgive me. And He already paid ransom for my sins. I am free in Him. I am His precious child, He is my Father, my friend, my counselor, my King, my teacher, my Saviour and my God. And knowing this..almost makes me feel wanting to die to meet Him soon in His kingdom. But before the time comes.. I will trust Him my life.

P/s: TIBS- Trinity International Bible Study

SpeaksLouder!