letter to my dad and mom..

This is my story..
Bapa: "Mari kita baca dalam Efesus 6:1. Hai anak-anak, taatilah orang tuamu di dalam Tuhan, karena haruslah demikian. Hormatilah ayahmu dan ibumu--ini adalah suatu perintah yang penting, seperti yang nyata dari janji ini:  supaya kamu berbahagia dan panjang umurmu di bumi."
Allyn: (Senyum..mendengar dengan tekun)
Bapa: Ko faham apa maksud firman Tuhan ni Alin?
Allyn:(Angguk2..nda lama..geleng2 kepala)
Bapa: Mula menerangkan maksud firman Tuhan satu persatu..ayat demi ayat..

Setiap tahun kebiasaan adalah seperti ini..setiap kali ada antara kami adik beradik yang sambut hari jadi, mesti bapa bagi ayat firman Tuhan yg dipetik dari Efesus. sampai satu saat..

Bapa:"Mari kita baca dalam..
Allyn:"Efesus ayat satu..Hai anak2, taatilah orang tuamu......... (membaca dengan lancar)
Bapa: (Tersenyum..)
Allyn: "Nah sy hafal suda. Itu seja balik2 gia setiap tahun...
But the moment i said those words,  i regret it... because after this incident..next year dad use another verse for me for my birthday.

i think i've hurt my dad when i say those. I'm sorry dad....

i think i miss those moments. and i miss to hear it from you. i guess, there will be no more next time for me to hear that from you... :(
over the years, i think i grow up with that verse.. even if you never read from that verse anymore..but they lived in me.. it always rang on my head everytime my birthday is coming...

when i remember all those moments, i'll always smile. i think that was the greatest gift i'll always get for my birthday. no present, nothing or what so ever. Birthday cake is not the things i am looking forward anymore, but having the simple and short fellowship on the dining table before we ate together what mom had cook for everyone, for me is the best part .when dad and mom said their prayer for me, i feel like i am the most blessed person in the world. hearing all your prayer for me makes me smile and makes me wanna cry..:'(
to grow up in faith, to be a good daughter,to have succes in life..
dad..mom..you have no idea how you both had change me..

i know, sometime i am stubborn , and i easily get angred towards the other..sometime i worried you, sometime it is difficult to advice me..sometime i hurt you,sometime i make you angry...i am lazy,sometime not really considerate and go against your will...
but as i grow up..i learn to take responsibility..
indeed..there are many things i didn't understand.. i don't understand why you get so mad at me when i did wrong, i don't know why you punish me when i do mistakes..
but none of them hurt me..none of them i remember..
because everytime you mad at me, everytime you punish me.. you'll come to me and said sorry.
i don't know but..as an adult..i come to realise that..it is very hard to say sorry... even to my siblings.. apa lagi kalau dengan parents...
for that..thank you mom and dad..for saying sorry to me..
for i know how to say sorry to you and say thank you to you in return..
because of you, i always feel grateful for everything i have..

dad..
maybe i seldom said this..but i really love you.
you r a great daddy...
when i said i want a boyfriend like you, i am not joking. i really mean it.
i look up high on you. you r my inspiration.
for me, you teach me lots of things that beyond my age. you simply told me about how things work.
sorry if i asked you too many question. i know sometime it is hard for me to understand, and hard for you to explain,,mcam bila sy tnaya camana kereta boleh bergerak, apa sejarah sabah, kenapa itu..kenapa ini..
but you tried anyway..and thank you for that..
thank you for picking me up at school, asking about my bad day, making me laugh and even giving me hard moments to realise my mistakes. through them all, i grew up to understand things more.. and i couldn't be more than grateful.
i still remember when you pick me up the last day of my senior in SMESH, you asked me..
"how u feeling? this is your last day at school?" and i said "hmm..mcm biasa2 seja..sedih tapi happy.." i knew that will be the biggest step in my life..i am not a highschool girl anymore..and what i achived and who i am in school is my past.. and day you said  the most memorable words for me..
"it seem s like yesterday..mcam baru saja bapa hantar kau masuk skolah asrama..hari ni..bapa aambil ko balik rumah and this is the last time.."
dad..i almost choked when you said that to me..
i know..it must be hard for you when you first send me there..i know i am your little girl.. but then..when you pick me up..you know that i've change..change to be a girl who had her own mind now..
thank you for helping me through everything..even if we seldom talk, i learn by watching you.
i knew you r not perfect, but i learn that i am not perfect too.
and i accept everything as i accept that i sometime do wrong too.
sorry if i've ever made an impression that i hate you..or mad at you..like stomping my feet when you want to watch football or chong wei on tv when i want to watch akademi fantasia..
no dad, i am sorry... you seldom had your time to watch what you like,,and i know that you like to watch them as much as i like to watch mine..i am being selfish if i wont tolerate with you..
all my life you have given so much for me and our family...i came to realise that..
why not give you a time to relax and enjoy your favourite past time too...
thank you dad for worrying for me.. i know,teenage hormones always get on me..sometime i am being selfish and rebel on you.. but you never failed to keep reminding me about the possibility of being that way...:)
thank you for being a great example for me..
i think you r the 'coolest' dad i've ever had.. ^^
thank a million dad..for everything...i am 20 years now..and here i am trying to pursue my dream..
i still need you and always need you dad...

mom,
u r a good mom..
i like to eat whatever you cook! it is the best meal i've ever had for i know mom is doing her best for her children. Terima kasih ma...:'(
and i do want to be like you in many ways..:)
not only being a mother for me, but also be my very best friend..
thank for being patient to me..
thank you for all the advise and all the transparent confession to me..
you r the closest image i could see myself..
maybe you r not perfect but your imperfection makes me realise that i am more than imperfect person..
that teach me to be humble..
and i am sorry if sometime i am being proud..
sorry for doing many silly mistakes..but thank you for making me realise about that..
thank you for teaching me how to cook..
thanks for teaching me to sew..to plant veggies..
pushing me to do household chores..
pushing me to be independent..
now i know..now i know..
that you're doing that to prepare me to face the world..
thank you for spending your time with me in everything i do..
mcam waktu kita pigi beli barang2 masa sy mau fly..
mybe i had my bad mood..i am sorry..
sorry if i give you an impression that i didn't appreciate what you've done for me..
but actually i am more than thankful mom..
i still remember when i go back from boarding school, you didn't tell me that you give me a chartered taxi..i cried a lot because i know it will cost you a substantial amount of money,,but you said you don't mind, and just take it as your sacrifice for me just to see me home for three days.. i will say it is not worth it..but mom,,you make it worth! :)
and i hope you know that by now..
mybe i seldom say..but i am sorry mom..
sorry for making you worried about me..
thanks for teaching me many things..
and i still needed you..to learn more..
teach me more mom..

Hello pa, ma..
Apa khabar?

i am not sure if you ever read this.. i am not sure if you've checked ur fb or not..
but writing this to you is sincerely from the bottom of my heart.
you see, on this day... 20 years ago.. i was born..
thank you mom for the great pain that you've endured for me..thank you for you 20years of patient to take care of me..
daddy, thank you for everything.. thank you.. :)

being away make me appreciate more, realise more and all this thought humbled me more..
thank you for all your sacrifice.. I could only ask God to blessed you both more..
for i am still a child and always be your littel girl..and i wish to stay that forever if that could make you happy..^^
thank you pa..sy mau mengucap syukur..
thank you ma.. sy mau mengucap syukur..
for today..
 i am 20 years old.. :)

God bless you!
Lots of love and kisses..
Allyn :)