My friend asked me this question once. 'Rosa, what is the most challenging experience you've ever had? Suffering or affliction of any kinds?'. Me? Silence.
Well to be honest, I don't know if I had 'the most challenging experience' in life. I often found myself as very accepting of things that happened in life. Ever since I was small, something in me always comfort me, enabling me to accept things. But, I also admit that I did felt frustrated or sad or unhappy because of certain things that didn't go as what I expected, but it was easy for me to be able to accept things. Well, as cliche it is..indeed things happened.
Today I was reading the book I mentioned in my previous post. At the same time, I was reading JOB for my one year bible reading plan. What a match! So I've been learning about pain and suffering. And I just realised how broken I am, and how much suffering I've endured. Not to the point that I think I've suffered enough. That is not what I meant. What I meant is, I actually face suffering everyday in this fallen world. And the truth is, sometime I was not actually very accepting of things that happened. I was just trying to be tough. And I thought that if I didn't cried, or didn't talk much about it, and just go with the flow, I was doing alright because Peter said that we are to rejoice in our suffering. Little did I know that the meaning of rejoicing in our suffering also happens within sorrow.
What I was reminded was, we are not to be immune of what is happening around us. We do have to emphasize the reality of grief and sorrow. But the difference is, we has something that enable us to rise above this things, that is we rise above them though we feel them. Its not an absence of feeling. This is an important dividing line.
With this, I have this sudden thought about myself. Sometime, whenever I faced problem or challenges, what I did was I swept things under the carpet and try to forget about it. But how can I forget? I know it was there, but I just don't want to deal with it. That is why, when the problem or I could say, the past catch up with my present, I felt helpless. Therefore, what I learned from this was, instead of sweeping away my problem under the carpet, I should face it like a women. And best deal with it. Instead of running away. Because if not, sooner or later, the past will catch up with the present if not dealt accordingly.
As much as I wanted to comment on how I see this in Jesus' suffering, and why He is often called as man of sorrow, but offered hope and also joy and glory, I think I'll save it in another discussion.
This is my reflection for today.
I haven't fully composed my thought yet, but I decided to write them down anyway. Just in case if I forgot about it tomorrow. Apart from that, I've been reading few journal today. I have another eight to go. So apology if what I wrote above seems boring and nonsense.
Until then.
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