Stop Worrying About Your Problems

I was sharing this article with my girlfriends in facebook. Really hits home. I should take time to stop, pray and act. Instead of doing it backward; act, stop and pray.

How To Stop Worrying About Your Problems

My add note: Sy baru ja habis exam. Tp sy susa hati sebap sy rsa mcm high probability failed. Unexpected exam questions. Sy x dpt tidur teingat2 mcmna blank nya sy time dlm exam hall. Sy mau betul grad and pass my exam. Teingat2 pesanan org tua yg mau sy berjaya. Sy low mood terus ni. Habis exam suda tp mo hepi2 pun rsa x senang. BUT tonight I came across with this article-someone share it. Really hit home. Especially for me. As human I admit that I worry+scared about things in my life. But at the same time was struggling to put my trust completely in God. Tonight I was reminded that I focus too much in the result. I forgot about the process that I should go through in life. A process that I often welcome and acknowledge-but easily forgotten. Indeed, God knows the best. And He is in control of everything.

emotional breakdown..

i was having a emotional breakdown yesterday.. i mean few hours ago. I got so stressed because of the things that i should have done, hasn't finished yet-not yet complete. essay writing-feedback email etc. :'( I rest for an hour. I almost cried!

guilt had taken its toll. and laziness. and procrastination. = stressed

but i think it has to do with my terrible homesickness as well. last night i dreamed that i was back at home, driving car with my bro and sis. we were having a good time.

and i missed my parents so much.

but above all, my heart was troubled. because i wanted so much to pass all my exams, and i wanted so much to graduate. but i was afraid of failing. and was afraid if i had to repeat any subject. and i was terribly afraid! this expectation was so great i feel like i'm depressed.

Lord, I cast all my anxiety to you. Search my heart oh Lord, deliver me from this situation. Remind me that this is just temporary. That You are my greatest joy that none can take away from me. And most importantly, I am in a good hand. That You are always watching over me. And this trial, was never more than what I am able to face/handle. For I can do all things in You who strengthen me. Lord, I've nowhere to go other than You. I run to You. For You are my refuge and my Savior. Thank You Lord. I praise You forevermore. Amen.

pokoruol ginawo..

beberapa hari yg lepas, sy post di twitter sy.. 'oruol tomod2 ginawoku kokito lo isu2 hilo Malaysia. what can I do? Tuhan nopo lah koilo poingkuro lo pomogunan'

Ya..sedih juga la tebaca tu semua2 berita di facebook. Tapi perlu juga sy ingt2 yg tidak semua yg sy tebaca/nampak di fb tu boleh dipercayai 100% sebap media massa kan..lepas tu org yg post-according to their own interest or personal opinion. So, in getting right information with right understanding about a situation, I had to take consideration a lot of things. Such as, go read different resources. Tapi disebabkan sy ni tidak rajin bah mau buat data mining ditengah2 kesibukan kota 'aceceh' sy terpaksa tunda sy punya niat mau p buat research pasal isu2 yang terjadi di sana. Oleh itu, sampai hari ni, sy tidak buat apa2 kesimpulan or comments about things that's been happening in my beloved country.

Kuroyon podih la.. minggu ni, in TIBS, kami belajar pasal 'sin'. Tadi masa homegroup meeting, I was clear about few things in regards to sin.
1. Sin is not just breaking the law.
2. Sin is also personal and relational.
-personal: our relationship with God which affects every aspect of our life, in relation to others, God's creation and also to ourselves.

The scripture keep pointing that we all are sinners, no one righteous, not even one, all fall short of the glory of God. Because of sin, we are under the wrath of God, that the wages of sin is death! We are extremely in total depravity because of sin, that we are helplessly in dire need of a Savior. I praise God because of His great love to us, that He sent His only son Jesus Christ to save us, that whoever believe in Him will not perish but will have eternal life with Him.

So, is by doing good enough? In Psalm 54 says, even our righteous act is like a filthy rags. Kadang2 sy pernah juga tu terfikir, I'm good or at least doing less sin sebap sy buat baik, but this verse remind me yg even my good deeds is not perfect. I am a fallen human, therefore whatever I did, although looks good, it was actually tainted with sin!
But I thank God again and again, that through Him I see things in different dimension. That although knowing that I am sinners and whatever I did will never be enough to please Him, this even make me feel so grateful and thankful and I praise Him forevermore for it is all because of His grace. Not because what I do, but because what God has done for me. In Him, I am able to come before Him as I am, that the only reason that I could came before God, is because what Jesus had done for me :)

But nevertheless, the scripture also told me that everyone will be judged according to what they have done. Therefore, we still need to be stewards of everything that God had given us. We respond to Him by doing good for His glory-not to seek praises from others.

I praise God, for who He is. And knowing that He is sovereign above everything, now I am confident that whatever happens in Malaysia, I know that God is in control. That I should not be surprised of many unjust or unreasonable things that is happening around me. Because clearly, this fallen world is tainted by sin. Rejoice and keep loving and trusting God! :)

one-to-one first meeting :)

One-to-one meeting is one of the many great ways to encourage other people. This is my friend, Melania from Ambon, Indonesia. But she is Australian citizen now. This picture was taken for our first meeting this year. I am thankful to God and glad that she is keen to meet up with me.

The most encouraging things that I've got from one-to-one meeting is, it was easier to be open and to talk and share with your friend. We could discuss in a deeper level, about various things in relation to our faith and understanding of the bible, knowing that we could held each other accountable for whatever question or discussion we had. Whatever we said that day, at that place, will stay there.

Above all, I thank God for the friendship we had in Christ-enabling us to build up one another and to hold each other up through support and prayer.

The beardy man..cont..

Continued...

One day I came late to Church. Because of most of the sitting was full, I sit down at the very back of the church. I never sit down there, although most of the time I wanted to. Because I like to imagine that I see everyone when I sit there.

Nonetheless, when the first song finishes, suddenly the back door which is the front door of the church flew open, and chill air from the outside of the church came rushing in. And the beardy man walk in! It was a bit unusual to see him coming late.

Nevertheless, he walk in and took the seat in front of where I sit. He sat at the end of the long chair near the walkway.

The second song was a hymn. And as usual, he sang enthusiastically with his hands high up on the air. And he sang with all his heart with his loud deep voice. I think he had a very good bass voice if he join the choir.

That night I realised that there is something behind his deep bass voice when he sang. Sounds..almost like longing and joy. It was nice actually to sit near him. The beardy man that I used to look from afar.

Later that night, after the Sunday service ends, he talk to the guy who sat beside him. He asked what the guy think about the sermon that night. Interesting enough, the topic of the sermon that night is about living in singleness or married. And my mind begun to wonder again, if he is single or married. I thought he was single, because I never seen any women coming to church with him. Or maybe he had a wife. But died. Or they divorce.

After many clueless assumption, I started to think less about him. I stop looking for him when I came to church. And because I started to meet many new friends, he had never bother my attention anymore.

But one day...

#To be continued...

Beardy man

There was a man, an old man that I saw at Church every Sunday. He usually sit at the first row near the altar on the right side.
My first impression when I saw him was, he is a poor old man. But very spiritual. His beardy face and long hair remind me of the men who I saw in the movie 'The Passion of Christ'. He usually came with a sensible shirts and pants. Looks old and dull due to over-washed or maybe because he wear them again and again. I thought he is poor and couldn't buy new clothes for himself.
He always came alone. Never seen him coming with anyone.

When its time to sing worship song, he will stood up with his hands high up on the air. Singing at his loudest, praising God with all his heart. Sometime people who sit behind him or on the next row glances at him. I'd thought some may feel abit uneasy when they saw him acting like that.

But there is something about him that I find very interesting. Or perhaps, intriguing. I often shoot glances at him from far away. Sometime, I look for him at his usual sitting just to make sure he is there. He become an encouragement for me to come to church.

Despite the odd glances that people gave him, he keep coming like none of it bothers him. I was reminded then that coming to church is not because of you are christian. But because you want to be in your father's house. And when you were there, whatever people think about you does not matter. Because meeting God is your goal. Not keeping up with people's expectation.

One day, I came late to church...

#To be continued..