regret.

its been 4 days we didn't contact each other. And in that four days, i began to reason back my feelings, and my actions. and towards the fourth day, i realised that, the feeling was not real. it was just an emotion, short-term, when you were being excited of doing something. have you been into such situation?

i admit that the past few entry that i wrote was totally non-sense. and i was just excited with what was happening around me. but i forgot to think wayy forward, that now i actually regret what i've said, and what i've done. But, i know i should not regret a day in mylife, i guess i just have to learn again and again in the hard way, always not knowing if the decisions that i've made everyday in mylife was the right one.

the truth is, i am not ready yet. and i am actually afraid of being hurt. and that means, i am afraid to fall in love again. the impact of my so-called 'a moment of rupture' in my life few years ago, was really eating me inside and out. i became afraid of love, and commitment in relationship. somehow it affects the way i relate to others around me. i think i need to stop from being afraid, and to continue to walk the life of love.

with this, I called upon my LORD, my strength and my refuge. I know that the beginning of wisdom is by fearing the LORD, and thus I submitted under His wings. and I know God is LOVE, and there is nothing to be afraid of in LOVE. with this I prayed that the LOVE that God had given to us, will continue to be manifested in the way I relate with other people around me.