my birthday!

29 October 2012

special date for me. i thought everyone like it when their birthday anniversary comes? coz, i do! :) this year although just like years before, i haven't got the chance to celebrate my special day with my family. that is why, i really appreciate the memories of celebrating my birthday with my family and close friends. maybe, those are the good time for me to remember in time like this. i really appreciate all the wishes. thank you so much everyone!!

i am officially 21 years old now. i am an adult now. wow..i can't believe it!! i am getting older!! huhuuu~ older in a good way i guess.. :) i could vote now. officially. but i am not ready yet. probably when i go back to Msia, only then i'll register to vote.

although i didn't celebrate my birthday today, i will..sometime soon when i am not that busy *so busy lah sngt sempat update blog* hha!

but yeah. probably this weekend? hopefully.

today, the person that i would like to give thanks are my parents.. mum n dad. i couldn't thank them much because they've done so much more for me. i wish them happiness and good health.. 

i thank my mum who sent me such a sweet prayer message..bring me to tears!

this is the kind of prayer that always makes me feel so blessed to have a wonderful parents. i thank God for i have them, although we are miles apart..i know they always pray for me. i miss how my mum and dad say their prayer for us everytime we celebrate our birthday. God knows how much i love them.

and above all, i thank God for the life he gave me, for the forgiveness and grace, blessing and love He faithfully showered me with. i thank God for always be there for me although i sometime forgot to turn to Him..i thank God for bringing me here, and continue to watch me and guiding me through all the obstacles i faced. thanks Lord for the 21years of my life. my heart is full of thankfulness tonight.

this week, i still have one more assignment to be done by wednesday. i hope i could finish them by that day. i have two more subject to revise. in God i surrender everything! :)

today is a happy day.. so i am going to end my entry with a verse..

Psalm 139:14-16

New International Version (NIV)

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
 your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.

My frame was not hidden from you

 when I was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.

Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in your book
 before one of them came to be

Happy Birthday to me! :)

sentimental day for me..

i've been away for a while. quite busy during this time of the year. a lot of assignment to be done plus revison for my final exam. this is my second year at uni. being a student is a wonderful experience. and it feels even different when u study overseas.  yet, that is not something to be proud of, but thankfulness and gratefulness. today, i feel a little bit sentimental. i don't know why. perhaps because i miss my homeland maybe? 

the land below the wind. what a wonderful name. i love my country. i love my hometown. it is where i grow up. and it is where i live most of my life and i am not ashamed of admitting that i am just a simple kampung@village girl, dusun from ranau.

maybe i miss the view of mount kinabalu that stood proudly infront of my house. oh what a view!

when i was in primary school, the first thing that i really love to see every morning is the great mount. kinabalu. i thought it was my love at first sight then.

it always become my inspiration. stood proudly everyday, on sunny day, nor rainy day. even when thunderstorm strike!

oh how i wish i was that strong and rigid. always stay the same even if it is a bad day.

the foods..oh..just how yummy they are. i really missed those kind of veggies that is hard to find in other parts of the country. only in my hometown! and i miss the style of cooking that needs nothing other than some oil, water and onion. food, simple like that..i thought is all i need back then. i know i am a food lover and i appreciate the most yummy food ever. but the kind of food that has been nurturing you as you grow up..you just couldn't forget about it.

perhaps i miss doing some gardening and attending the field, planting paddy and veggies, burning dried grass, mending the fence and watering plants..i used to do it everyday when i was small. i admit that i do complain all the time. but not because of the difficulties of the task. but because of the heat and mosquito bite that irritates me the most. i wondered how my mum could even stand all those irritation. she is a hero!

two things that i hope i am able to do one day are..1.cutting the grass using the grass-cutter : because usually it was used/operate only by men-namely my dad and brother. but i thought it wont be that hard for girl, don't you think? 2.opening/clearing land for next planting. i wonder how my mum could even do that by herself. after years of watching and helping her with some weeding here and there, planting and watering, only today the thought come back like years before when i watched her silently doing all the chores in the field. how i miss the sight! and even the smelt of the dried grass burning.

maybe i was just so sad because i read some of the anthropological journal regarding malaysian studies and anthropology in borneon island-namely east malaysia. apparently there has been a strong ties between other anthropologist from different parts of the world who went to borneon island to study various things. so there must be a lot of ethnographic journal about their fieldwork. but why i never came across with it? i don't know. i just feel that it was a shame not able to read those in my whole life. i wish i could read about it someday. and if what i studied now could help me to get into those kind of reading, i am willing to dedicate my efforts into it. although i don't really know much what i am going to be when i finish my study, but i hope, what i've learned here, i could use it and contribute something for my country, and most importantly my state, my hometown.

i know i've been blabbering for a while. apologies. i guess i'm a bit sentimental today. by the way, i miss going to church at sibpr. i miss the vibrant colours of the atmosphere and the people there, and the warmth feeling of being home, a place where you belong and surrounded by most of your loved ones.

p/s: all flowers are taken around Mile End neighborhood. ignore my mcc picture. hha!

putus sintaa...vs true love.. haha

ello2..hri ni sy nda tau la napa. banyaak betul sy nmpak post2 putus sintaa. adeii..kamu ni..bikin sy sedih sedja owh bca kamurang punya post! >.<

kamu ingat kamu seja yg perna putus sinta ka. sy pun bah!

hha~eii..bukan mau marah bo giaa... saja ba tu...

actually kan. sy ada asaimen ba ni mo bt. tp memandangkan kamu post yg sedih2..sy pun mau juga la kenen post sy punya cerita yg sedih2.. wlaupun mungkin teda org mo tau..tp saja sy saja kasi cerita2 la kan.. :)

4years ago..ada satu encom boy mengurat2 sy ba kenen. dgan sweetnya sy kena kuntik, sy pun apalagi,,nakagayat di ginawo. adei. hha~ mula2 sy jual mahal. sbp sy ada big exam kan. SPM ba. apa tidak. mesti mau fokus kan. hha~ tapii,at the end of the day...sy terima juga di proposal tu encom boy. jadi sy pun officially jadila sumandak dia, and dia jdi tanak wagu sy.. mula2 susah mau percaya sy ada tanak wagu. sebap before tu mana pernah ada kan... tapi tipula kalau masa skola rendah sy bilang sy teda..ada..cuma time tu sy tau juga yg cinta monyet seja tuu.. jdi, bila suda lepasan..mcm pandai suda berfikir kan..jadi kira yg ada serius sikit la suda kami kenen tu. tapiiiiiiiiii...semuanya tidak lah seindah seperti yg di fikir2kan. banyak juga cabaran kami tuh. abis sy sambung study jauh2 gia kan. percaya ka kalau sy ckp, kalau sy kira2..satu kali seja kami dating yg kami2 seja.. hha~ kalau yg setakat makan sama2 tu ada la dua tiga kali. tp yg paling special, seingat sy..masa sy mau jalan suda sambung study. masa sy buat foundation. awal2 tu..okeh2 juga. tapi lama2...mcm turun naik turun naik suda. kalau sy kira2...banyak kali o kami break. ada masa..sy rasa we could work it out. dengan yakin dan penuh iman. tapi, ada masa bila respon yg sy dpt tidak positif, nahh..sy mula rasa yg saya seja berabis ni mo mempertahankan tu relationship. kenen. aiseh. tapi at the end of the day..lepas 3 tahun... kami break juga diii... tidak kesampaian juga di tu relationship kami.

actually, sy malas juga ba mau cerita ni balik2. bak kata tu encom boy dulu.. 'balik2 mo break. bangas suda tuh.' hha~ bila sy pikir2 balik, lucu pula tu statement dia. BANGAS. hha~ bangas tu..maksud dia basi. ya, memang bangas suda ni cerita. sy pun malas mau ungkit. sebap teda apa2 juga sy dapat.

mula2 tu sy sedih. dan tipula kalau sy bilang sy suda fully get over it. but i'm recovering la. teda sudah sy sedih2. kalau dulu, sy nangis2 juga ni fikir. tp skarang..tidak sudah. sy dapat suda dih berfikir dengan sewajarnya. lagipun, at the end of the day..semua org semakin dewasa. and sy selalu fikir, kalau sudah umur2 macamni, bukan lagi macam budak2 cara fikir. kalau dulu2..boleh jadi mama org suda. mama sy dulu pun, dalam usia mcm sy..urus keluarga suda. so, x perlulah sy terus sedih2, jiwa kacau, stay di posisi kehidupan lama saya. lebih baik saya move forward. :)

semua org deserve second chance to make things better. bila sy muhasabah diri balik..actually there is nothing untuk disesalkan. walaupun dulu sy cakap sy kecewa dgn apa yg terjadi..akhirnya sy terima hakikat yang semua org tidak sempurna. so, kita tidak boleh expect relationship kita tu sempurna. jadi, walaupun sy rasa banyak kelemahan si encom boy, akhirnya..sy akui juga..yg saya pun baanyak kelemahan. which brings me to think about all the things that i've done. bila sy analyse diri.. ohhh..alamak. rupa2nya saya pun dua kali lima. banyak hal yg perlu sy perbaiki. sini la baru sy sedar. sy pun tidak sempurna. dan akhirnya, sy sedar yang banyak yg perlu sy perbaiki tentang diri sy. so sekarang...sy cuba untuk prepare diri sy supaya, siapa pun pasangan hidup sy nanti.. saya dapat jadi penolong yg baik untuk dia. walaupun sy ni serba kekurangan. dengan iman, sy akan setia tunggu bakal husband saya dari Tuhan. sy pray supaya, siapapun dia yg bakal jadi husband saya tu.. terlebih dulu..biarlah Tuhan yg campur tangan. simple as that. sebap sy tau, Tuhan selalu menyediakan yg terbaik untuk anak-anaknya. tidak perlu pergi jauh, hidup sy ni sudah cukup membuktikan kasih Tuhan. Thank You Lord! :) 

so kepada yang bersedih di luar sana, i know it was a painful experience. but believe me..things will always get better. bila kau mula melepaskan sesuatu yg sangat berharga bagi diri kau ke dalam tangan Tuhan, Tuhan tidak akan membiarkan kau terkapai2. Tuhan akan bagi yg lebih baik, yg terbaik, dan most importantly..He know what you need. Sebap kita mesti ingat..memang ada banyak hal yg kita mau dalam hidup ni. tapi tidak semua kita perlu. dan tidak semua penting. :) 

so cheer up! wlaupun it takes time for you.. belajarlah untuk lebih terbuka. buka tu fikiran luas2, tu mata luas2.. jangan keep layan tu perasaan seja..and do nothing. bila kau lebih terbuka, banyak tu ko nampak. banyak insight. at the end of the day..you'll get to a point yang...'adeii..lucu pula bila fikir balik'. then you know what i mean. even apa yg saya tulis ni pun nothing suda untuk kau. sebap ko pun ada suda pandangan and pendapat sendiri tentang apa yg terjadi dalam hidup ko. it's part of growing up! :)

nanti ko tua suda kan..teda juga ko ingat pasal yg ko kecewa tem muda2 tu. apalagi kalau ko suda tekawin tulang rusuk ko. :)

just like my big sister and her husband! i saw a lot in my sister's life. but at the end, God's plan is always beautiful. :)

introducing: My brother in law : Francis Sungkin and my eldest sister : Florena J. Kantis
on their memorable day
7th July 2012 (07.07.12)
SIB Pekan Ranau Church

their memorable day gives a huge impact on me. I'm very close to my sister. I don't know why..but during the exchange vows..it feels so special because I've been with them since they were still couples, till the day they become one. :) wonderful memories.. May God bless both of them as they no longer two but one. 

until then..  :)

Malaysian Carnival 2012

yes!! Malaysian Carnival 2012 in Adelaide. It was just amazing. The stage was beautiful, the emcee are sporting, including the invited guest, Sam, blue eyes Caucasian. He played his role enthusiastically. And the crowd were big and very supportive! The performances were the highlight, plus..we got Ezani (First Malaysia's Masterchef) doing the cooking demonstration! The foods are amazing, hmm..remind me of hometown.

eventhough, i was not directly involved in the Malaysian Carnival event this year, helping to choreograph one of Sabahan native dance was an honor for me. This year i didn't join in performing because my friends and I was doing venture to open a stall called Traditional Corner. Well, there's some issues with the spelling..but who cares when everything sold our. right? :)

basically, the menus are simple. We sold Murtabak, Roti jala, Popiah basah, kek batik and Ondeh2. Thank God, everything went smoothly. And the experience selling to Aussie people was just amazing. At first, I doubt that I could handle hundreds of customers..but hey.. I did it!! I know it was just a small thing. But it feels like a big accomplishment to me although I have a very awkward moment, and its funny too.

Old man: I am hungry..

He came directly to our stall. And he was half mumbling. so i end up hearing other things.

Me: Oh, Henry? Oh hello Henry.

Sol(my friend): Allyn, dia cakap dia lapar la. Hungry. Bukan Henry.

me: OMG! really.. alamak!!! Malunyaaa.....

then u know the rest. I feel like i want to hide myself. but in such circumstances, where could i go?? dang~

hha~ but at the end, we all did laugh about it. it makes our day less stressful and more memorable.

back to the Malaysian Carnival..apart from choreographing, i did the costume too. I like Dusun Ranau's costume. I really hope the costume that I made somehow resemble the one that Dusun Ranau people wear. I am not a professional tailor, but I tried to do my best.

sketches..

in the making..

with the dancers..

i didn't manage to make the skirt the way i wanted to. but i hope this will do. :)

although the dancers are not professional, they did it very well. besides, they're first timers, and i think i should give credits to them. having only few times practices, i know it was not perfect but I am so happy they volunteered to join my group! bravo! :)

the day was eventful. i wish i could enjoy the moments longer. i know we'll have it next year for sure. but the senior this year was just awesome. and it is sad to know that this year would be their final year. and they will go back for good after graduating at the end of this year. huu~

anyway.. this is some of the clip. i hope u enjoy watching!!

Spring Holiday

yay! its been for a while i haven't write anything.
teda idea bah.. lagipun..mcm nda tau apa mau tulis kan.
but this two weeks of holiday is just so refreshing!! :)

but still, my assignment r waiting to be done. okay2. maybe i've wasted five days. OMG, its five days dy?? okay i should've start doing them now. hahaha~

anyway..i just love spring. banyak bunga..
i've started doing some backyard gardening too.. kalau ada masa nanti sy share picture..
flowers??
bah coming soon. itupun kalau sempat pi visit Botanical Garden. banyak bunga wooo..last year punya picture pun belum upload lagi.

until next time! :)

come back.

its been a while huh.
i've nothing to explain. but i've things to share.

been through a lot lately. coming back here tonight just make me smile reading all those things i've posted.
i talk a lot. some are unnecessary. but yeah. freedom of speech. you can say anything. write anything.

i've made new blog. but wont continue on it. will probably stay here. so many memories. i appreciate who i am.

learned a lot this past few months.

final break up. sad. heartbroken. but thank God. i am strong in Him.

my big sister's wedding. beautiful. grateful. wonderful moments.

exam, thank God.

this year will not go back to Sabah. stay here. doing summer school. travel. amen.

new friends!

new aim. do best in study.

Love God. i am redeemed. not perfect. but forgiven. <3

short. but enough. nite :)

tea time with popcorn. taken during swot vac. was kissed by a grandpa. 

admit weakneses

The admitting is often very difficult.
Indeed. And I find it very true for myself. Sometime admitting my weaknesses is very hard, because it makes me more conscious about myself and the things i couldn't do.


Conscious of my own weakness, I can only seek fervently the guidance from God to help me to overcome them. But i rejoice in God, because I realise that, I am nothing without God.
Saya adalah org biasa, yang punya Tuhan yang luar biasa. :)