haha..

adaii..sedih betul ni music d blog sy.. haha..

haaaaahh...

i have nothing if i don't have you..

i think i'm in love once again.. look what this word have done to me..:'(

keep strong allyn.. : )

p/s: don't misunderstood by my post yaa... nothing happen.. 

new life, new perspective.. breath slowly..thank God

again..i'm talking about new page!

well..hm..as i do multitasking just now..which is..blogging, fb-ng,writing essay and daydreaming..

Gosh..if i continue to be like this, i'll screw my final exam..

well enuf self-pitying..

just now i went to blogwalking..read my friends blog..

somehow they give me an inspiration..life is mystery right..:)

i am sure God wouldn't want me to feel discourage with my situation right now..

i do learned my lesson..

so it time to move forward..

i have exam starting this 23rd of June..ending 29th..

i want to do the best as i possibly can..

i want to do something worth for my sacrifices..

and as my gratitude to JPA, family and friends who had been supporting me all the way..

doing as if for God, the giver of all..

thanks Lord for this wonderful opportunity.

i would like to open my heart, hear Him more, learn more, gain more, 

wisdom and whatever this path that i have choose has to offer..

i know..along the way..God is preparing me to be more matured,more responsible and having more wisdom!

part of growing up i guess..^_^

well the past is pass..i should move on! chayo2 allyn..

i'm looking forward for my exam..

God i pray so that You continuously give me a heart that fear You,

for fear to God is the beginning of wisdom.

remind me  of my responsibility..and help me to manage my time wisely, and to be able to revise consistently throughout this SwotVac.

God i pray that i will not sick during my exam..and also everything will go smoothly during my exam period..

i pray so that weather is good eventhough its winter and the coldness is very challenging to me physically and mentally nowadays..

i prayed that my friends and i could answer all the question without much difficulties, that we're able to apply what we've been studying this past few months.

dear God,

i miss my family. i prayed that everyone is in a good health, may You guide us all in everything we do, whatever we do, and wherever we are..especially my parents who working so hard for us, both my brothers who's working and studying far from us, both my sisters who's working and studying too.. May Your grace and love be with them. May Your light shine upon us.

God i want to rejoice in Your name.

Thank you for the opportunity to join the holy communion last week, the moment is very precious to me, as it is my first time having it here with brothers and sisters in Christ. Teach me oh Lord on how to serve others and open my heart to take part in the church activities. Even though i have no other friends to accompany me, I know that i am never alone for i have You.

Thank you God.

Open my eyes more to see all the wonderful things You've done to my life.

Give me a grateful heart, shape me accordingly to Your will. Let me be moderate in every way i am. 

Keep me in Your safe place Lord,

For You are my safe harbor.

In Jesus name, I prayed.. 

Amen.

hey all..

its been sometime i didn't really put myself into writing..not to forgot to mention my previous entry..it is well-linked with what i'm going to post today..
you see..something came up lately..and i'm feeling terribly tired and sad right now..i've been posting my innermost feeling at fb..and writing entry which actually what my heart wanna say..
the reason why i've been moody tis past few weeks or day is..


it's over.. ~

i'm not sure if anyone realise i am having a bad day..and having a difficult times.. only some people know.. especially my sis who sat next to me.. our discussion about marketing and economics had helped me a lot to go through the pain i'm having..

what is being 'over'?

lets kept it a question..after all..its complicated and boring to explain. you'll understand eventually.

today feel different.. something's missing..

i do feel something is not right..but the reason is on my previous post in fb.. yup..its over that is why i felt different..that something's missing.. half of my heart is missing...

i'm trying to hold on..its been so hard for me..yup..it must been very hard..that i post encouragement to me..

sabar seja la allyn... :)

ya..sabar allyn..sabar..

but the more i kept it in myself..the more my heart cried the more i felt hurt..

God .. my ♥ 's hurt like stomachache..

indeed its hurt like stomachache.. can u imagine that pain.. 

well you could if u ever got stomach upset..especially when the pain is at maximum..that's how its like.. or maybe more painful..beyond what you could imagine..

this feeling distract me so much..i couldn't concentrate doing my final assignment for this sem..i couldn't think any to write for my 1500words development study essay..this will affect my marks..i know it will..

heart and mind.. please cooperate.. please.. finish this task first..

but i'll do my best to finish it..i'm not giving up..this is the largest percentage in this subject..so i better do it..

i almost hate night..why ? cause i can't sleep.. i did go to bed early now.. not like last time..but still can't sleep..i'll stay awake and keep telling myself to sleep. this is the problem.

at last, i've got the cure. i've been praying and reading bible before i sleep. but last night God give me exactly what i need. those words reminds me and seems to tell me what should i do..

ask forgiveness..that even you come closer to God when things between you and others is not yet settled, u've been hypocrite to God..and God is love yet fair..he'll still look at you being hypocrite..at Him and also to yourself.. it slapped my heart and my pride...

i am so sory for whoever i've hurt their feelings..

i never had any intention to hurt your feelings.. i never want..and i would never do..

i know that i have faults..that even i say i never want to hurt you..that's exactly what i did..and i'm sorry..

maybe because i am hurt too..and i want you to feel the same..

i wonder is that how most people did and human did..?? i wonder.. is that the reason why we hurt others because we are hurt at the first place..

how i wish i could love others like we loved God coz God has first love us..

but i know i couldn't compare with my love with God's love coz God's love is greater than anything..greater than human's..

we, humans.. we always change..  everything will change..

this changes is what happening to me now..

i've changed..

my thoughts, my feelings.. it changed..

it think more, and feel more.. the more i know..the more is more..

alright..i start to loose my track..i better go back to track..

mmm..this is my pray last night..

God, I prayed that I could go thru tis pain. Amen. :) Good nite all.. ♥

indeed it's better to pray for strength to be able to go through the pain rather than ask God to put away the pain. coz whatever i did, the pain is there and the realisation that the pain wont go away and is there..

the painful i felt..i just have to go through with it.. eventually it'll get better..

anyway..i know i am being emotional lately.. i'm sorry..this is soo not me..

but i am merely a human that have faults and weaknesses.

sometime i couldn't hide my feeling..

and its better to express rather than to keep it inside.

let the problem be kept in my heart. coz i would like to share it only with my Father. i know He sees me through. and every pain i have He understand.

i prayed that, God also kept him into his grace. that he will also have the courage and strength to go through this all. this must be hard for him too..as much as what i felt.

i'm not being considerate. just being understanding. i deeply understand what it felts.

may God give him peace and a heart of joy. that this pain will eventually eased.. that he'll have a heart..to do whatever he wants in his life...

amen..

cinta bukan mainan ok.

kalau kamu in relationship (Boys girls relationship).. apa kamu mau buat supaya hubungan kamu tu kekal atau dalam kata lain apa kamu mau buat untuk menjaga hubungan kamu.. ?

mesti ada yang ckap saling tolak ansur lah, saling menjaga hati la.. saling memaafkan, saling memahami, menerima apa adanya..etc2.. banyak lah cara yang boleh dibuat..

ada juga yang cakap..kita serah kan sama Tuhan..betul..saya sangat setuju..
sebap dalam apapun..kita mesti juga serahkan relationship kita dengan Tuhan..sebap itu reflect apa dasar sesuatu hubungan kita..

ada juga yang cakap couple ni x baik.. apa pendapat kamu ? hrm..terpulang lah kan..tepuk dada tnyalah kata hati..

kita boleh bagi bnyak alasan kenapa couple ni tidak bagus..baik dari segi agama, morality, culture atau pun pendapat masing2..
tapi ada banyak alasan juga kenapa kita cakap couple ni tidaklah se'jahat' yang orang fikir..
semua ada baik buruk..

tapi bukan tu yng sy mau cakap..
hari ni sy mau cakap..

kalau kamu couple kamu terus fikir pasal mau kawin ka ? aiseh.. saaajaa mau tnya laa..

bah, begini lah..kalau lah relationship kita tu tidak bertahan..
awal2 memanglah banyak cabaran kan..sampai ada cerita yang betul2 dramatik..ada juga lah cinta mcm romeo n juliet.. ada juga cerita yang senang2 ja trus boleh couple..

tapi pernah kah kita terfikir, macmana yang relationship break tu ?
ada yang rasa sakit, ada juga yang tidak boleh kasi lupa, ada yang jadi sasau angau..mcam-macam lah..ada juga yang heppi.. sebap nda sanggup suda lama2 brcple sama org mcm ni..so,brek-up
ada yang break sebap suka2..ada yang sbp curang, jeles, kematian, kena halang lah..apa la..mcm2 la..

tapi kalau yang for no reason ?
ah, mustahil la ada yang macm tu kan..mesti ada reason bah..
sy rasa sebap terlampau penat sudah bah tu balik2 begitu...

pas tu kalau senang2 ja relationship tu putus, maknanya masing2 belum ready buat komitmen la bah tu. FRAGILE betul tu relationship.
lagipun takkan ko mau kawin sama org macm tu kan. yang tiada komitmen dalam sesuatu perhubungan.
kalau ko mau kawin sama tu urang la..

kalau betul mau berkomitmen, mestila bah hubungan tu kena jaga bagus2 kan.. tapi mcmna kalau sebelah pihak ja berusaha mau jaga? mesti la nda jadi kan..
apa lagi kalau yang dua2 pihak nda mau jaga.. alamat hancur lah sesuatu perhubungan tuu..

apa2 pun..kalau suda break jangan la pula ada yang sedih berabis-rabis nih.. simpan lah hati tu untuk kegunaan masa depan. sebap hidup bukan takat sampai relationship tu putus. panjang lagi perjalanan hidup. yang student, belajar dulu..ingat lah..masa jadi budak sikul paling best! yang uni student, bahh...skijap ja lagi mau habis study suda..pas tu kerja..baru lah kamu rasa apa tu hidup.. yang bekerja suda..bah..pray lahh..Tuhan mau bagi yang lain..atau..cuba reflect balik..mana silap..kalau ada salah..kasi betull..ambil pengajaran.. kalau teda..move on sejaa..

kita hidup punya hati. dan salah satu tanggungjawab kita adalah menjaga hati kita. dan kalau berani mau in relationship, tanya sama hati, boleh sudahkah jaga hati org lain. ?? ingat cinta tu boleh membangun..juga boleh menghancurkan.

jangan suka hati buat hati org lain hancur. so ingatlah yg couple2 ni jangan dibawa main. itu bukan mainan.

today is a sad day

sad day..coz..
tomorrow is the last day of my class..
sad day coz didnt got time to say thank you to all my friends..who had been with me this sem..
sad coz..i should do better in my midterm exam..
sad coz..there are many things i've missed that i didn't realize..
sad coz..there are many things happen here..but no one knows..
sad coz..i miss my family..friends..
sad coz of...
sad coz... i dunno what to study..
sad coz...
sad coz...
sad... :(

Laura Story: Blessings

Laura Story: Blessings
www.laurastorymusic.com

Lyrics:
We pray for blessings
We pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love is way too much to give us lesser things

'Cause what if your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

We pray for wisdom
Your voice to hear
We cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt your goodness, we doubt your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough
All the while, You hear each desperate plea
As long as we have faith to believe

When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know that pain reminds this heart
That this is not our home

What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy
What if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are your mercies in disguise